Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
