I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
