so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
