I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
