There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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