What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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