I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Randomize
