Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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