the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The power of my boobs compel you
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
