Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
