My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
