Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
