Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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