4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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