i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
