So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
