i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He? As in you personified your dick?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
