didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
