You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Randomize
