so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
