Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
