Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
