is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
It was confusing and full of hummus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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