I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
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He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He keeps bees of course he's weird
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I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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