I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
