I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
