Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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