summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
