hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
