she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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