I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
