You can't special order awesome
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
