My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Is Oprah even human
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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