Duck Duck Cougar?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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