walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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