They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
