"it" just moved
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I just want to make out with him forever
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
