..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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