Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
