I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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