I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
