she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I love you.
Bad choice
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