I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
