I feel great
I just peed on a car
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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