I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i will never coherently bang her
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Panties = found
Randomize
