does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
