A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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