whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
