I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
my poor anus
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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