addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
