I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
pray to the hookup gods
Randomize
