NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
