We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
