he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
