his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level