dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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