Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
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I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
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I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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