I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize