Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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