I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
