Soap is not a condiment
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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