Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
