i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
