I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
