Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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