Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
