Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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